blue balls in dance halls

women readers i implore you to enlighten me. For awhile now I have been a resident of this wonderful town, and during this ongoing tenure have endured many a nite at the local bars and lounges. With so much nitelife one would surmise that that the singles scene here would be booming. Perhaps that is the case, but for this 1 brown guy, that conjecture remains inherently flawed. Because even if a woman is single here, she isn't ever really. Because there is in her mind an exact replica of a demi-Greek God here on earth wearing a striped Banana Republic shirt and a monthly pass for the path in his back wallet. I blame a few sources for conjuring such an image in her mind, such as chick flicks, the christian ultra conservative WASP-ish right wing, and
MTV. But i digress.....
To fit into this mold is quite a formidable task, and honestly an effort I just dont wan't to undertake. Because guess what? I work pretty hard 5 days a week. On the weekend I don't wanna do a goddamn thing. That includes force feeding small talk to someone who has immediately dismissed me as a love interest before I even shook her hand. You can tell by looking at her eyes and reading the body language. You know I can tell immediately? When I introduce myself, if the girl doesn't ask how pronounce my name I know she has 0 interest in meeting me. Trust me no one I ever met got my name right on the first try. Let me rephrase that- any non-indian I have ever met has been able to say my name right on the first try. A girl who is like, "how do you say your name again?" is polite and has at least some desire to talk to me.
So there you have it: that's my secret so if you're a girl you best be coming correct. So basically you could be Brad fuckin Pitt, who just came back from an orbit around Jupiter and got awarded the Purple Heart last month, but because he is wearing black shoes with a brown belt, he isn't getting the time of day from any hoboken chicks. It's really that bad. I know because I've been there. Everyday i see hot women with doofy ass white dudes. I ponder the beginnings of such a pairing. I think I have a better chance of proving the unified field theory than understanding how these people get together. The towel is in my hand and wavering over the ropes of the ring. So ladies, please enlighten me. Or just blow me? Either way it will be a tremendous help.