spamalot

im currently in phoenix (again) and its hot as donkey balls at high noon in the dead of july.

It's so hot that old people are dropping like flies. Why must old people be so defiant? They think everyone is wrong, young people have no respect, and that they can do everything by themselves. So then they go outside to catch the early bird special at the local yokel restaurant and 2 minutes later the adhesive holding their false teeth in starts melting like bubble yum left in your pocket in the washing machine. With temperatures averaging 107 over the last few days, it isn't pleasant to step outside of the comfort of the A/C. A local Chicago radio station called up a Phoenix resident yesterday and asked him how hot it was. They asked him to take a scoop of ice cream and drop it on the sidewalk and then time how long it would take to completely melt. It took 8 seconds. If you pulled that shit in chicago, it would be gone in 5 seconds. You'd look down and see some fat drunk bears fan licking that shit up. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa beaaars!

On another topic I love getting spam. I know it sounds weird but have you ever taken time to read spam? Spam is the new black. Shit is funny as hell. I think spammers are out of work comedians that are trying to hone their material through spam haikus. read this one:

To: Riley; Tracey@i.com; Kory; Collin; Antoine
Subject: Fw: be a superstar and wear our quality rolexes or brietlings.

wow. these copied versions have the same logo types and serial numbers.


but get him to talk, he has plenty to say. His reading has done him
1880 Milstead Ln, georgetown, Texas 78628-6811 512-721-0445 which is some
of the best land in the country. I grant you, FROM my father I received
the best inheritance, namely a "good temper." "And who was my father?" That
has nothing to do with the good temper; but I will say he was lively,
good-looking round, and fat; he was both in appearance and character a
complete contradiction to his profession. "And pray what was his profession
and his standing in respectable society?" Well, perhaps, if in the beginning
of a book these were written and printed, many, when they read it, would lay
the book down and say, "It seems to me a very miserable title, I don't like
things of this sort." And yet my father was not a skin-dresser nor an
executioner; on the contrary, his employment placed him at the head of the
grandest people of the town, and it was his place by right. He had to
precede the bishop, and even the princes of the blood; he always went
first,- he was a hearse driver!

He was a hearse driver! And a fat one at that. Awesome.