Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Garden State or Garbage State

Recently I have been reading the rants and raves section on craigslist. There are alot of posts highlighting the negative perception of my birthplace, New Jersey. New Jersey is the child molestor neighbor of the northeast. Everyone sees it as a nuisance, and doens't want to be near it, let alone inside it. Granted most of the generalizations are from people that never have seen new jersey and complain about the "smell" and industrial landscape. Perhaps the most accurate observation regarding new jersey pertains to its denizens. Guidos and mean girls. A marriage made in suburbian hell.
I'll start with guidos. Exhibit A is a website called njGuido.com Take a look around for a minute or 2, or before your gag reflex kicks in and you'll see exactly why NJ is a wasteland of these braindead idiots. Exhibit B:

Guidos work out all winter and eat meals comprised of boiled chicken and hardboiled eggs so that they can spend 3 months out of the year (start memorial day and ending labor day) flexing in the bathroom mirrors at such classy establishments such as Temptations, Bamboo Lounge, and Djais.
The Guidettes that hang out with these Neanderthals have nasty tans, wear whorish makeup and had daddy buy them fake titties as their graduation present from spending 4 hard years at county college. Aside from them, girls in nj are a hard nut to crack. Each girl born in Jersey is imbued with a distinct and primal defense mechanism, which is triggered when a male is within 20 feet of her. She will do her hardest to not look at the male, and in the likely event that she is approached, she will bare her teeth and shoot the evil eye. She will sometimes accept a free drink, on receipt of which she will bare her teeth and shoot the evil eye. Now you, as the casual blog reader, may be thinking, this guy is just bitter and probably hasn't been laid in a few years. Yes- this may be true, but I assure you my outlook on females here is shared by many, even those who be getting some at this very moment. I have traveled most of the US and I can tell those men who have never left NJ/NY- there is hope my friend. There are women out there that will smile at you when you smile at them. That will actually respond to your casual conversation starter, and that will thank you genuinely for that 12 dollar martini you just bought. I have to be fair to New Jersey women as well in saying that NJ men are relentless in hitting on women. I think we must outnumber them 100:1 or at least it seems that way on fri and sat nite. Its no wonder they have to be so defensive to fend off the wolf pack of drooling sex starved males. Even the fat chicks have an attitude- you know why? Because they get hit on non stop too!
In conclusion I'd like to say that I love New Jersey, but goddamnit what a life it would be if complete gentrification of this state could displace the guidos to connecticut and we could import some girls from Oklahoma and Iowa.

5 Comments:

Blogger BurnTees said...

very well said Sachin

6:44 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

its good have opnion about people in general and there traits in specific. you said may br correct but if based on your personal experince with one or two people then would you like rethink about this again .but any waqys well said . itgood 2 have thought then to olny empty spcace in mind
piyush

5:04 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

snap. tell it like it is brownie...

12:09 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard Pete had to have elbow surgery due to overly aggressive Djais fist pumping.

Not enough prep in the offseason, huh Pete?

12:12 PM

 
Blogger Rajan said...

this is classic jersey. i couldn't agree more.

1:37 PM

 

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