the myspace unRevolution

I was reading an article today on arguably the most self centered of news outlets, CNN.com. Could this site care anymore about US events and anyless about earth shattering world events? Terry "vegetable lasagna" Schiavo got more airplay than the Korean nuclear crisis. I'm sorry but I'm more worried about Mr. wong launching multiple ICBM's equipped with 100000000 yen of plutonium than some braindead bitch. Anyway, there was an article about how some myspace bloggers (aka fat Everquest nerds) were complaining about how Fox Corp's buyout of myspace will undermine the "counter-culture" grassroots social movement spawned by myspace.com. How exactly is a site that has some 22 million registered users be referred to as "counter-culture"? Since I happen to be one of these 22 million, I'll fill you in on how to succeed in a typical myspace ecosystem.

Girls:
Step 1: Take self portraits of yourself wearing the sluttiest underwear/bikini you can find. Make sure you show ample camel toe.
Step 2: Talk about how your favorite hobbies are shopping,partying and talking to boys. Also make sure to alternate caps on ur words like this : iM a dIrTy wh0rE
Step 3: Make ur background some super dark color and ur text black so no one in their right mind can read whatever inane shit you wrote about yourself.
Step 4: Sit back and watch your comment and friend list swell as hundreds of guido morons (see Garden State post) and greasy spanish dudes say things like "whattup ma" and "damn you look good yo" and my all time favorite "whats good ma?". I dont know you neanderthal, what is good? Isn't that fucking rhetorical question?

Guys:
Step 1: Take pics of you flexing your faux tan muscles in a wife beater. Also don't forget to look mean and take your shirt off as well. Show off your cookie cutter tribal tattoo u got in Seaside.
Step 2: Talk about how your favorite hobbies are working out,partying and talking to girls.
Step 3: Make ur background some super dark color and ur text black so no one in their right mind can read whatever inane shit you wrote about yourself.
Step 4: Add every chick you come across on myspace as a friend. Once they accept, which they will since myspace is the biggest faux popularity contest since high school, leave vacuous comments on the girl's page. See step 4 under Girls...

It is only inevitable that myspace will implode on itself if its members are any indication of its self proclaimed social importance. The only good thing I can see coming out of myspace today and tomorrow is the huge launch pad for indie musicians. With an online/digital distribution channel as magnanimous as myspace, the RIAA has some serious competition when it comes to exposure of up and coming artists. Any local band that I've seen recently, I've been able to look up on myspace and download or stream their music. If anything will survive from the myspace fallout it will be the online social networking of musicians and their fans.