A Farewell to the many Arms of Vishnu

Gerry Dee - Last Comic Standing Season 5 Audition

2007-08-16T16:31:00.001-05:00

LMAO

Kings Of Leon - Fans

2007-08-11T13:59:00.001-05:00

These guys easily were the best band at lollapalooza.Their live set was incredible considering I had never heard them before :)

CHUNKY PAM DIRRRTY JERZY COMEDY

2007-08-01T11:18:00.001-05:00

Makes me proud to be from Jersey...

Band of Horses

2007-07-29T18:58:00.001-05:00

One of my newest favorite bands. This one is called "The Funeral"

Nada Surf - Inside of Love - Live @ Sonic Boom Records

2007-07-29T18:55:00.001-05:00

Nada surf is one of the few bands that can pull of a love song without oozing cheese.

Pearl Jam @ East Rutherford 6.3.06

2006-06-04T11:42:00.000-05:00

It's been almost a year since I had the chance to see Pearl Jam play live though this particular show followed on the heels of their first major release since 2002's Riot Act. Hailed by Rolling Stone by their greatest album in 10 years, the self-titled LP certainly lives up to the hype bestowed upon it by critics and fans alike. It was fitting then that the set list was comprised of mostly the new album and their debut album "Ten" demonstrating just how much Pearl Jam has come full circle from their angst-ridden seattle roots to the edgy and politically laced incarnation they have become today.
The set list is as follows: (taken from the ten club website)

Set 1 Severed Hand, Corduroy, World Wide Suicide, Hail Hail, Animal, Love Boat Captain, In Hiding, Even Flow, I Am Mine, Whipping, Gone, Comatose, State Of Love And Trust, Rats, Garden, Inside Job, Porch

Encore 1 Army Reserve, Hard To Imagine, Last Kiss, Black, Crazy Mary, Last Exit

Encore 2 Wasted Reprise, Life Wasted, Lukin, Leash, Don't Gimme No Lip, Why Go, Leaving Here, Alive, Yellow Ledbetter

Pre-Opener Surrender

Accompanying Support Act It Makes No Difference

Encore 2 was absolutely amazing with the show ending on a high note with a blistering rendition of "Alive" and Mike Mcready saying goodbye with "Yellow Ledbetter" Even Stone Gossard got in the mix by taking lead vocals on "Don't Gimme No Lip".
This was the last show of Pearl Jam's first leg. Next, rich and I will be travelling to seattle to see back to back shows at the Gorge. Stay tuned!!

evolution of dance

2006-06-03T15:52:00.000-05:00

yes i love youtube - i swear i'll write something soon lol :)

nada surf live acoustic performance

2006-05-29T14:51:00.000-05:00

26th bday party!

2006-05-12T10:30:00.000-05:00

new release heaven

2006-05-03T18:45:00.000-05:00

This spring has been insane for music releases- or at least releases for music that I like :) Socialburn, P.U.T.S, Tool, Pearl Jam, Taking Back Sunday, and Thursday have all released for the most part, stellar albums in a time when radio has practically been eliminated from the NY metro market. Pandora, last.fm, myspace, blogs and word of mouth have been incredibly pervasive mediums for spreading digital joy to the masses. Special mention should be also given to zunafish for allowing people to get rid of unwanted dvd's, cd's, books and video games and trade them for stuff that other people have grown tired of. It's almost trivial for an indie band to gain mass listener exposure with DIY recording software and hardware coming down in the sub 5,000 dollar range. Professional sounding albums can be produced with relative easy and in lieu of iTunes success, the cost of pressing cd's can be foregone for a pure digital distribution model. Marketing can be accomplished using the viral approach- street teams, blogs, grassroot gigging, and of course social networking sites.. Just check out myspace.com/music and you'll see a wasteland of bands vying for the diminished attention span of the myspace generation. I'd say the majority suck but again the point is that anyone can visit their page and instantly stream recordings of the band, visit their website, and see their upcoming tour schedule. So the cost of creating a website and hosting an email address can also be eliminated with a free myspace music page. The benefits for the musician and the listener are tremendous. Bands and talent that formerly were hinderered by the deprecated record label machine can now easily reach the masses without big labels and radio stations forcing us to listen to what they think is "good". Think about how many organic indie bands are gaining huge popularity over artifical bands put together by record labels (ie. Ashley simpson is getting killed by Bloc party) because of how the landscape of music has changed. The movie industry will see the same shift in indie production and distribution methods with technology like video editing software for the masses, and bit torrent for seeding movies out to viewers. It's only a matter of time before the RIAA and MPAA implode from their dinosaur ways unless they by some miracle embrace the very technologies that threaten to kill them.

bubbles and weddings

2006-04-23T15:19:00.000-05:00

All though it steadily rained all day yesterday, the acid rain indigenous to New Jersey could not corrode the excitement of bubble's wedding in New Rochelle. I woke up at the tender hour of 8:30 am having fallen asleep friday night at 11. This was partly due to the hellish day I had in south jersey going to Fort Monmouth for work and the 2 and half hour commute back home which included waiting 45 minutes at a rest stop gas station so that I could pay 3 bucks a gallon to wait in holland tunnel traffic for an hour. Again- that was partly it. I had gotten Capote from netflix a month ago and decided to watch it before i went out. Bad idea because Philip Seymour Huffman (or whatever his cracker name is) was as exciting as a high-pitched, chain-smoking, lisping homesexual.

So after waking up at 8:30 I got it in my head that I needed to learn to tie a tie. I usually have random people help me out if the occasion calls for a tie including mel who learned how to tie one in band camp. Fast forward 3 and half hours later with the help of my roomates the moral support of friends over IM, I tied the full windsor in 30 seconds flat! The cost- hours of agony and 2 destroyed ties. Unfortunately at the end of this auspicious event, my phone rings. Mike and I were on call that saturday due to the fact that a high-profile client was doing an upgrade. And since I was the consultant that did the original implementation and mike was the on call support engineer, we were both tasked with the job of helping out the woman at the company if any issues arose as a result of the upgrade. Since the genesis of murphy's law was begot by our product, my phone did ring at noon with a frantic , vodka-soaked voice at the other hand. Long story short mike and I worked with her for 3 hours while she fumbled around rudimentary tasks such as opening a file in notepad and cutting and pasting text. Since time was counting down and I wasn't even dressed, I had mike call backup since our limo was coming at 4 and it was currently 3:30.
We piled into the limo shortly after 4 and blasted emails to hand off the shitstorm of an upgrade and left our troubles behind.

Once arriving at the Fountainhead, we slammed some champagne and settled down to watch the ceremony. After people watching for a few minutes it was apparent that we had been transported to LA since everyone was beautiful as could be. However I did spot one asian kid so my mind was put at ease.

Well from cocktail hour on I can assure you that we had a great time soaking in hennesy and the various ingredients that are intrinisic to the wedding recipe of slow dancing to songs when its obvious that my feet are magnetically attracted to my date's pedicured toes (sorry meg lol) and posing for eyes-half-closed pics with random people you just met. The peacock was out in full effect and I'll admit my neck is a bit sore from the furious strutting that was displayed on the dance floor. Our old friend jager made an appearance and I watched meg down a wine glass full of it down- good work! My boss was bent on doing shots all nite, a ritual I found myself immmersed in more times than I care to count. The speech by Leah's dad was the best wedding speech I've heard in english in awhile. He came around and introduced himself and I managed to slur a few words of thanks and introduce him to my date.
The time flew and before we knew it we were relegated to the outside awning in hurricane katrina-esque conditions. Our shady russian limo company was living up to its reputation of being .....well shady. After waiting over an hour we managed to finally get a taxi to come and drive us all the way back to hoboken. Thanks derrick!

Anyway congrats leah and john dino pucio!

driving in india

2006-04-19T11:38:00.000-05:00

The last 2 times I came back from India I took many pictures of street-level traffic.

However it's hard to convey the extreme level of chaos and utter disregard for human life that floods the streets of India everday. Until now.

Courtesy of Youtube!

There is a saying in India: If you want proof that god exists, drive around the streets of India"
I can't even count how many times I thought I was a dead man while being paradeded around the rickety streets swerving around cows, camels, chickens, dogs, beggars, tractors-
Let me rant about tractors for a second. What business does a tractor whose top speed is 5 mph have on a highway?
Especially a tractor hauling 1000000 tons of shit!

The cars themselves are even worse than hyundais. No air bags, no crumple panels - no one even has side view mirrors!! To top that of , at nite everyone drives with their high beams on thus rendering the gift of sight completely useless. That being said I can't wait to go back :)

Honda Accord Video

2006-03-30T12:49:00.000-05:00

Coolest Video ever: Apparently this commercial contained no CGI, took 606 takes and cost $6 million to make....
http://www.steelcitysfinest.com/HondaAccordAd.htm

Talk to me goose!

2006-02-04T18:51:00.000-05:00

I HAD to post this:
http://www.youtube.com/?v=LqcDJGlfAGE
Apparently some guys had the time and money to build a small scale fighter jet that can reach speeds of upwards of 280 mph. Check it out.

To live and die in L.A redux

2006-01-20T16:21:00.000-05:00

Seems like everytime I touch down in the city of angels shit just gets weirder and weirder. The ride from the airport in the taxi is always with some old middle-eastern dude blasting god-awful arabic music with no regard for his passenger. His thinking must be that since I'm brown I MUST be into arabic polka tunes. I got news for you smelly middle-eastern taxi driver guy... IM NOT! In fact I can't even stomach indian music so your shit falls waaaaaaaaay by the tracks.
I was however excited about the hotel which I hand chose called The Standard. One of the few boutique hotels in downtown LA, this place is ultra trendy. It's claim to fame is its vaunted rooftop bar where celebrities and hip wannabe's soak in the 360 degree view of downtown LA. Once the taxi pulled up to the front entrance, I was instantly accosted by a beggar, or a "poet" as he so described himself. He handed me a dirty piece of paper that he claimed was a poem he had written. Again I use the word "poem" very loosely here, as after reading it became clear that he was off his cardboard rocker. He asked for a donation of course , saying how he needed to get back to ohio. Not sure why since LA is a million times more lucrative than Ohio in the arena of begging.
The poem reads as such:
White man, black man , china man. Heh amigo!
Soup lines, L.A Times, skid row stroll
All them chapel chairs and gangsta' stares
Lord get me out of this mess
I'm on my knees help me please
My Lord Jesus

Alley cats chasin' rats into the fires that burn on the street
Demon fly and babies cry in momma's arms, they feel the heat
Shoppin' carts full of cans, raggedy clothes and sleepin' bags
Crack addicts on the carpet farms
Ain't that sad?

Cigaratte man on the corner, little Mona's got a trick for you
"Heh boo!"
People get high, cars roll by, shots go off
I thought you knew

Gimme gimme this. Gimme gimme that. Gimme. Gimme. Gimme.

Heh man. What's that?

I heard a bottle break.

Uh oh. Time to go. Shake the spot. Getting hot.
One time! Five-O! Let's go! Oh, no!

Welcome to..

Skid row.

Now let's pray

Wow. I'll let that digest. Moving on......
I walked into my room and was immediately immersed in some weird "A clockwork orange" style room where the bed was on a platform, the tv was on the floor and the bathroom had a clear window looking into the bedroom.

There were a few tongue-in cheek touches as well as you can see below:

A pack of condoms from the mini-bar area:

The wastebasket:

My favorite was the phone that had quick-dial buttons for "hell" and "fluffer" Sadly I was not brave enough to find out who or what was at the end of the line on these buttons:

The charm ended here as the service at the Standard was awful. The staff was the rudest, most aloof group of jackasses I've encountered at any hotel. The walls were paper thin and at nite you could hear the bass pulsating down all the way down from the rooftop bar (i was on the 3rd floor and the rooftop is at least 14 stories up).
The worst was the last nite I was there when I decided to go out to Hollywood with a client and get smashed on 70 dollar bottles of wine and 18 year scotch. I went to bed wasted and was rudely awoken at the unholy hour of 6 am to armegeddon above me. Turns out that they decided to proceed with construction in the room above me. I called the front desk who said that construction wasn't supposed to start until 9 am. I made the point that this wasn't the case now was it? Instead of comping me a nite stay he decided to tell me "well since you're up go ahead and order breakfast on us" Gee. Thanks asshole.
After getting dressed and meeting up with the salesguy for our 11 am meeting, we left the hotel and walked across the street to our meeting. All of a sudden, flashing lights and a siren greet our backs. A cop on a motorcycle stops our progress and asks for our ID's. Apparently we have just been busted for jaywalking. I shit you not when I say there wasn't a car for miles. Getting harassed for about 10 minutes, we were finally able to continue on without getting a ticket and make it into the building. Once inside were greeted to some laughter and sly grins as the entire lobby had seen our fiasco with the cop. Much chagrined we ducked into the elevator bank and made our way. After another meeting at 3 pm in Culver City, en route to which the salesguy got lost for 2 hours since he was too busy talking to notice the exit we had to take, I finally boarded the red eye home at 11 pm. Arriving in newark at 6 am , I had been up for 24 hours and hadnt eaten for just as long. But at least I was able to jaywalk to my hearts content.

Music Response Vol 3: the death of radio

2006-01-20T16:14:00.000-05:00

Filia Brazilia: A touch of Cloth

Porn Music is back! Filia has been a fixture in organic downtempo for quite a few years and has a pretty decent following. Instead of producing music with synths, drum machines and loops, they have a live band- a damn good one at that. Great
music to heavy-pet too or just plain good bake music.

Elliot Smith: Either\Or

Something about talented young songwriters and OD'ing on heroin that makes their music more timeless. Elliot Smith's claim to fame was having his song "Miss Misery" featured in the venerable movie "Good Will Hunting". If I had to name one band that has emulated his style it has to be The shins although I feel that they probably have a rosier outlook on life than Elliot did in his last years. This album finds itself oscillating between the outright melancholy dirges to pure acoustic track that on the outside seem more upbeat but on repeated listens will reveal strong undercurrents of Elliot's subtle sadness (ie. Rose Parade). There is certainly a style to his playing and coupled with elliot's almost monotone baritone that can only be described as completely captivating, you can file this album away under rainy-day sunday listening.

Better Than Ezra: Before the Robots

Everyone our age remembers that insipid song "Good" that was played over and over on MTV and z100. Dismissed as candy-coated psuedo-alternative music and/or as a 1 hit wonder by most people, BTE in my opinion is as solid as any band has been since the 90's. Tracks on prior albums like "King of New Orleans", "Desperately Wanting", and "At the stars" will prove my point. Before the Robots as a whole is reminscent of the usual BTE love songs, some upbeat and endearing, the others a bit more reflective and of an acoustic styling. Track highlights are "Special" and "Our last night". Seems BTe is sticking with their recipe for success which in the short term is a good thing for stalwart fans, but might ultimately lead to stagnation and their ultimate commerical demise.

Dj Shadow: Entroducing

Yea i know this album has been out for Eons but I just listened to it OK?! I was reading some article 2 months back about some middle school band who performed the entire album instrumentally in front of the school during a recital. If you've heard the album then'll you know just how impressive this is. Probably one of the most important albums in the electronica/dub genre this is a must listen. To get the full effect you'll probably want to listen to it in order since most of the tracks segway from one to the next. GET IT NOW!

Notable Tracks
Where'd you go- Fort Minor featuring Holly Brook
I listened to this track 6 times in a row and still shivered all the way through

Whiskey and Wine-311
I can relate

Everybody's Changing-Keane
I first heard this song im Amsterdam sitting at the bar by myself for the 4th nite in a row. At the time I thought it was Radiohead but later learned that it was Keane, a band that when Coldplay was becoming big was drawing criticism for sounding like them.

1.14.06:OAR @ MSG

2006-01-20T16:07:00.000-05:00

It's completely unacceptable that booger's blog is more active than mine so to spite that seven star addict I'll relent and make a post. Last sunday I had the pleasure of trekking to Madison Square Garden to see O.A.R (Of a Revolution) a band hailing from the crab-cake riddled Maryland area. I heard they put on a good show but I only knew a few choice songs. In other words I didn't up to that point celebrate their entire catalogue.

O.A.R's performance was solid and to some extent there were lucid moments of awe-struckedness, but not from the audience's end; it was from OAR's side. This was easily the largest venue they had ever played and looking around in the top most tier where I was situated (ticketmaster can suck a fat one) there were surprisingly only a few empty seats. The seats that WERE occupied were comprised of pimply teenage boys and girls sucking on marijuana paraphenilia like their state college applications depended on it. These kids were straight of Laguna Beach only 100 times uglier and 1,000,000 more annoying. Apparently a lot of them were under the impression that sucking the clearisil off each other's face in public was acceptable. No. No one wants to see you lock braces with your band geek girlfriend and get a 2 inch chubby in your pants. I almost took a plastic fork from the hot dog stand and performed an impromptu vasectomy in the restroom. Now I won't comment on the jailbait since there is probably some federal agent reading this right now waiting for me to talk about supple breasts and glossy strawberry-scented lips that have NO idea how to deepthroat. As Goldstein said in harold and kumar:
"You know the Holocaust?"
Kumar: "Yeah....."
"Picture the exact opposite!"

For me the highlight of the nite came at the very beginning of the show, when a young Hasidic Jew decked out in all the trimmings came on stage and started rapping,rasta'ing and beatboxing with the backing of a great live band. Instead of dreadlocks he had bologne curls. Instead of Rasta hat he had a yarmulkah. Instead of a kangol jumsuit , he had on a Hasidic suit. His name was Matshiyu and he was AWESOME.

From amazon:

Although reggae's religious overtones are often overshadowed by the music's ties to ganja and the hippie movement, there are some socially active or religious leaning artists out there. One of the newest comes in the unlikely figure of a young Hasidic Jew named Matisyahu. Singing with a slight ghetto patois, in Yiddish, and even displaying considerable beat-box skills, the New Yorker is at his best when he works himself into fits of righteous indignation and Old Testament fervor (the limits of his vocal range are laid bare when he croons on ballads). The lean three-piece band on this live recording, his second album, is aerodynamic and flexible, able to do the slow reggae groove or rock out with ferocity. After 12 tracks of stripped-down reggae, however, the music tends to blend into one long groove. Nonetheless, there is an undeniable urgency in this live recording that comes through loud and clear, making it a live document of note by one of reggae's most interesting new figures. --Tad Hendrickson

Matshiyu even came out at the end of the show do do an encore with OAR and he ended up stealing the show on that one too. Sadly the nite ended at McDonalds watching Hoboken's finest stroll in. The best was the white dude who never got the memo about wiggerdom being a defunct practice getting bitched out by this nerdy indian for cutting the line. I thought for sure that he was gonna get his "Quarter pounder with cheese, hold the quarter pound" rammed up his H1-B but the white dude let me down with just a mutterered "relax man."
Till next time- get in, get off , and get OUT.

back in brown

2005-12-18T14:36:00.000-05:00

sorry. Yes i am. It's been waaaaaaaaaay to long since i've posted. This is probably because since the last time that I spoke to you I was doing the same thing: Getting fatter and more disgruntled.
It's holiday season - arguable the most akward time of the year because morons are always asking me I celebrate xmas. Why don't they ask me if I celebrate chanukah? I mean i could be sephartic alot easier than I could be christian right? In any case I just say yea I celebrate it since India just opened up a call center for Santa's workshop so we are gettin serviced the same as whitey.
In any case xmas is still an auspicios day for me since my Dad who apparently loved america so much, decided to get married on the holiest of holy days.......for CHRISTIANS! So xmas day comes and we have to celebrate the anniversary of 2 very hyper and paranoid indians I have EVER had the pleasure of meeting. Certainly not as merry and warm as xmas should be since there is no cable and the heat is at a toasty 62 F...
There might be the occasional FRO sighting and even some brownies, yet I tend to notice the absence of egg nogg, instead replaced with ovaltine chai and complimented with some third world biscuits. It might be in my best interest to marry into a white family where WASP-ish activities like wearing matching holiday-hued sweaters, singing xmas carols ( I'll be beatboxing of course) and sipping henny by the fireplace are the holiday activities.

In conclusion , I'm Ron Burgundy- go Fuck yourself San Diego!

10.3.05:Pearl Jam@Wachovia Center

2005-10-04T18:23:00.000-05:00

It's been over a year since I've been to a major venue to see a show. My triumphant return to the "scene" was in grand fashion, as it was Pearl Jam's last show of their North American tour and I had the pleasure of seeing the show with cohorts Richard "Don't call me dick" Gaynor and Sue "Pass the dutchie on the left AND right hand side" Marino.
You see, Rich is a senior member of the Ten Club, the auspicious fan club of Pearl Jam and hinted at our drive down that the seats would be awesome. We headed out from hoboken at 1:30, making amazing time and arrived at the hotel right outside philly at promptly 3. We drank to drink and drunk to be drunk, and soon dusk descended, finding us walking to the show to find out what kind of seats we had. Rich went up to willcall and came back with 2 tickets on the 13th row! After locating our seats we found ourselves 13th rows back on the ground level between Mike McCready and Eddie Vedder with a perfect view of the rest of the band. The venue was alot smaller than I had anticipated which was fine since it felt more intimate. The one gripe i had is that the acoustics weren't as good as they should have been. Often during the set I found myself straining to make out the muddy vocals of Eddie Vedder.
Set list: Wash, Hail Hail, Brain of J., Spin The Black Circle, Given To Fly, Sad, Alone, Even Flow, Green Disease, Faithfull, Whipping, Not For You, Leatherman, Better Man, Nothingman, Once, Bleed For Me, Blood

1st encore: Around the Bend, Harvest Moon w/Sleater Kinney, Hard to Imagine, Crown Of Thorns, Crazy Mary, Alive

2nd encore: Last Kiss, In My Tree, Do The Evolution, Sonic Reducer, Little Sister, Leaving Here, Rocking in the Free World w/Sleater Kinney, Yellow Ledbetter

My favorite songs of the show were Once, blood, Crazy mary- where a techinical glitch spooked eddie and he jokinly refused to continue the song unless the crowd did first.
Mike McCready also had a pretty cool solo during even flow where he played the guitar on his back ala Hendrix:

For those of you who do not know the "leash story" Pearl Jam hasn't played this song
for many years. They almost played it at a prior show but the rest of the band members mouthed to eddie that they had forgotten to play the song. So at this show, shouts of "leash! leash!" bounced off the band at various pauses between songs, but sadly this amazing song was not played. They ended with yellow ledbetter, which of course is a PJ classic where they were joined by Sleater Kinney ( a band that I could have done without seeing)

These chicks look like any other skanks I see at the bars on the weekend. Not impressed at all. The experience has inspired me to see many more shows, instead of doing the same thing every weekend- drink at some gay lounge, wakeup feeling like shit,rinse, repeat. As always comments are welcome and appreciated ! :)

10/1/2005: Emergency Service@Crash Mansion

2005-10-04T17:41:00.000-05:00

I finally got the oppurtunity to see my brother's band play. He had taken an ad out in craigslist to cure an itch to start drumming again and was contacted by a group called Emergency Service. Not necessarily the most unique sound (see: 2 skinnee J's, 311) but their lyrics and delivery certainly make up for that aspect. And let's face it - there are few bands out there today that are doing anything besides the 3 chord verse chorus verse anyway. The group consists of 2 lead singers, one of which doubles as a rhythym guitarist and also moonlights on keys for a song or 2, a lead guitarist, a bassist, and fro on drums.
The mc's are white so you have to take their music with a grain of salt. In fact one of them hails from Montana, which might be somewhat comical if their lyrics were in fact of the ganster rap persuasion. This is however not the case and they manage to pull of some pretty light and often times funny dual vocal assaults.
The first few bands that went on had a spattering of loyal groupies, but it was nothing compared to when these guys went on. The whole stage area was packed and surprisingly lips were moving in synch to the fast and furious vocals. There was a diverse crowd of half naked black guys, investment bankers, young hotties, and fat groupies.

The songs themselves were a mix of hip-hop/funk and alt rock and as far as I could tell were all originals, complete with drum solos, guitar solos and power chord goodness. The main MC was full of energy which seemed to jive pretty well with the rest of the band and the crowd. I was pretty impressed and realized even further that I need to get my ass into a band and fast!

Music Response Vol.2:Hip-Hop Anonymous

2005-09-29T16:17:00.000-05:00

I'm not a huge hip-hop guy but there are some amazing albums that I'll give respect to. Even if you don't feel urban beats check these out and you may change your mind.

1. Original Soundtrack - "O.s.t" /The people under the stairs

These guys actually rap about real stuff. Not money, bitches, and bling. Weed, deep metaphors, and slick puns over some of most addictive hooks I've heard to date. Nothing resampled here. THis is the real deal underground hip-hop. The gems on this album are "Acid Raindrops" and "Empty bottles of water." Get on it.

2. Be/Common

I was not a fan of Electric Circus so I was pleasantly surprised when I popped this one in cd player and found that every track on this album could easily explode on hot 97. The album is produced by the Kanye West, the hoboken based rapper now made infamous by his less than tasteful diatribe during a Hurrican Katrina Telethon where he said "George Bush hates black people" Check out "Go" and "The Corner". A huge departure from their former album "Electric Circus" Common has found their footing with "BE".

3. Illmatic/Nas

The legendary lyricist Nas can serve up some sick rhymes - "Life's a bitch and then die, that's why we get high". It's hard not to emphatize with such a pristine outlook on life.

4. Greatest Hits/2pac

I'm from the east coast but I feel 2pac much harder then Biggie. Is that wrong? Will I revive the east coast vs. west coast war with this comment? 2pac is a grimey ass nigga and at least in my perception comes through completely authentic. His image reflects the ganster rapper portrait much more accurarately than the corpulent and raspy voiced Notorious B.I.G's in my estimation.

Floribbean

2005-09-28T08:58:00.000-05:00

After my meetings in Tampa were completed, my colleague and I decided to hit up the trendy Ybor City. From what I hear its the hoboken of Florida. Fair enough, we call a taxi where Osama bin Laden's rebellious teenage son pulls up blasting the most offensive JihadHip-Hop I've yet to hear.

It's like they put 2 afghani's in the recording studio at Abu Gharib and told them they would be tortured until they put out an LP. I mean I've heard some of albums come out Gitmo and they were nowhere near this bad. 20 minutes later we are cruising the strip of Ybor city looking for the "hot spot". Keep in mind its monday nite so the streets are all but empty. we get the lowdown from Osama Jr. and find out ybor has a main strip with all the bars and is flanked by 2 titty bars at opposite ends of the strip. We start getting closer to one and notice that the landscape is starting to rapidly deteriorate into the oh too familiar ghetto blueprint. I asked Osama to turn around and we were deposited at a sports bar. My narration here will suffer from self imposed censorship which is necessary to protect my reputation as a stand up guy. At 3 am I find myself in a convenient store with my drunk colleague loading up on assorted potatoe chips, cheese dip, honey buns , beer, and cigarettes. For whatever reason I decided against the 2 day old chili cheese dogs in the fridge. Apparently even drunk people have limits to their nutritional depravity. 7 hours later and I'm in a Jet Blue plane writing this blog entry. Till next time...

Jet Set and Match

2005-09-28T08:50:00.000-05:00

This week I was in Tampa, Florida for some meetings. Starting the day at 5 am on monday I shuffled past the bright eyed cats loitering in the bathroom. Briefly contemplating peeing on one, I proceeded to get dressed and head out to the front of the apt where the inevitable black stretch limo awaited. When you travel as much as I do, the once nice stretch limo starts resembling an ominous black hearse.
An hour later I'm at JFK International checking in at the Jet Blue Kiosk.

It was my first time flying this venerable discount carrier and I'll be honest- I was floored. Clean, orderly and above all timely. We actually boarded at the exact time printed on the boarding pass. There weren't 100 people confused people clogging the boarding area. They actually board the back and the front of the plane in tandem. The rear boards via the tarmac and the front via the jetway. This is pure genius. If there was a nobel prize for aviation logistics you know who gets my vote. Inside the plane, I quickly realized what the Jet blue experience was about. A businessClass experience in every seat. Unbelievable leg room, a directTV tv console on every headrest and 2 PPV movie channels. Movies could be bought for 5 dollars via the credit card swiper located next to the LCD screen.

Also, the headphone jack was the normal one, not the fucking infuriating 2 or 3 prong ones on some airlines (Continental I'm looking in your shitty direction) that only offer MONO sounds. The drink service wasn't via trolley but pleasantly conducted by a flight attendant taking individual drink orders. She then came around with a basket of assorted snacks such as pretzels, doritos, chocolate chip cookies and even biscotti. There were a total of 3 attendants for the cabin , and since there is no first class cabin, there is a much faster response time. All in all Jet Blue was hands down the most pleasant experience I have had in the air in my 100,000 plus miles I've flown.

music:response

2005-09-18T11:45:00.000-05:00

Ok so Im gonna try and regularly drop music picks. This is the first installment. I won't necessarily be making recommendations on new music, just whatever Im really into at the moment.

Rise Against/Siren Song of the Counter Culture
Some of the best punk I've heard in a long ass time. These guys have a political agenda (as you can tell from the name) but don't we all? Check out tracks "Give it all" and "dancing for rain"

Motion City Soundtrack/Commit this to Memory
A recommendation from Vito and Booger. Airy vocals over synths and a killer rhythm section their newest album "Commit this to memory" is definitely the soundtrack of your next road trip.

Dinosaur Jr./Without a Sound
One of the quintessential albums of the early 90's alt rock movement, J Mascis found his niche with the slacker following that bands like Malkumus' Pavement later capitalized on, embodies with lyrics like " I feel the pain of everyone/then I feel nothing"

Oasis/What's the Story Morning Glory
The band's infamy that stemmed from a comment by frontman Noel Gallagher saying how they were better than the beatles is what was ultimately their commercial downfall. Luckily from a musical standpoint they rock and rock hard as only brits know how. WOnderwall is prob. the worst song on this album and its definitely one of my all time fav songs if that helps putting things into perspective.

blue balls in dance halls

2005-09-18T11:01:00.000-05:00

women readers i implore you to enlighten me. For awhile now I have been a resident of this wonderful town, and during this ongoing tenure have endured many a nite at the local bars and lounges. With so much nitelife one would surmise that that the singles scene here would be booming. Perhaps that is the case, but for this 1 brown guy, that conjecture remains inherently flawed. Because even if a woman is single here, she isn't ever really. Because there is in her mind an exact replica of a demi-Greek God here on earth wearing a striped Banana Republic shirt and a monthly pass for the path in his back wallet. I blame a few sources for conjuring such an image in her mind, such as chick flicks, the christian ultra conservative WASP-ish right wing, and
MTV. But i digress.....
To fit into this mold is quite a formidable task, and honestly an effort I just dont wan't to undertake. Because guess what? I work pretty hard 5 days a week. On the weekend I don't wanna do a goddamn thing. That includes force feeding small talk to someone who has immediately dismissed me as a love interest before I even shook her hand. You can tell by looking at her eyes and reading the body language. You know I can tell immediately? When I introduce myself, if the girl doesn't ask how pronounce my name I know she has 0 interest in meeting me. Trust me no one I ever met got my name right on the first try. Let me rephrase that- any non-indian I have ever met has been able to say my name right on the first try. A girl who is like, "how do you say your name again?" is polite and has at least some desire to talk to me.
So there you have it: that's my secret so if you're a girl you best be coming correct. So basically you could be Brad fuckin Pitt, who just came back from an orbit around Jupiter and got awarded the Purple Heart last month, but because he is wearing black shoes with a brown belt, he isn't getting the time of day from any hoboken chicks. It's really that bad. I know because I've been there. Everyday i see hot women with doofy ass white dudes. I ponder the beginnings of such a pairing. I think I have a better chance of proving the unified field theory than understanding how these people get together. The towel is in my hand and wavering over the ropes of the ring. So ladies, please enlighten me. Or just blow me? Either way it will be a tremendous help.

IO needs to STFU

2005-09-06T14:03:00.000-05:00

you, as my avid and fervent blog reader may be wondering why there has only been 1 post in the last 3 some odd weeks. The answer lies in the unparalleled idiocy of a company called Cablevision. You see it all started 2 weeks ago when I moved to my new apartment, which was lacking broadband internet access. I called Cablevision up and signed up for their Optimum Online Service and scheduled someone to come out the saturday i was moving in. Well, low and behold the door bell rings and in comes a self-proclaimed reggaetone artist, not from cablevision but some 3rd party company. He comes in and starts looking for the cable outlets in the apartment and after 10 minutes promptly tells me that he can't install the modem because he can't find them. Meanwhile my opinion of this guy has just plummeted faster than his hopes and dreams of performing at the Apollo one day. I walk over the wall and point to an outlet that is basically just a cover screwed into the wall.
" I think its behind there"
"Nah yo, that ain't it"
"I'm pretty sure it is"
"naaaaaaaaaaaah B"

Common sense would dictate that since the apt never had cable, but was prewired for it, as most new apartments are, that this outlet would have the cable's behind it. But nooooo, Tony yayo has other ideas. He leaves and tells me that he is scheduling Cablevision to come out. Gee, funny since I called them last week to have someone come out here. Instead they send this 8 mile reject. Days go by and no call from Cablevision about my appointment, so I decide to call and set one up myself. They said no problem we'll come out on saturday between 8 and 11. Unfortuntely I didn't have the hindsight or restraint to realize that friday night would be one hell of a drinking event and consequently didn't hear my cell phone go off at 9:08 am the next morning.
THe voicemail was as follows:

" This is cablevision. You have missed your appointment."

Fuck sakes. What a warning! I mean to call me after the fact; that's just got classy written all over it. Rub the fact in that I was hungover and drunk as hell at 9 am. Luckily my other roomate was up and there were some overnite guests sleeping downstairs. When asked if they had heard the doorbell ring , not one of them answered yes to hearing it. Something was afoot.... Furious, I call them back to ask the technician to come back. I am told that this is not possible and that I will need to reschedule. Week 1 without internet has just been completed.
I call them on sunday and ream the customer service rep. He promised to have someone out first thing tuesday morning between the hours of 8 and 11 AND for them to call me an hour before they come so I can make sure that I am home. Tuesday morning arrives, and I get up at 7:45 to make sure I dont miss them. Meanwhile I told my boss that I would only be an hour late in anticipation of an early and successful install. 8 comes and goes. So does 9,10, and 11. At 11 I call shanikwa from cablevision customer service asking her what the hell the deal is. She says that it shows in the system that the guy came at 9:08 am and I missed it. umm yea that was last week. She apologizes that the system is wrong and says that the technician will be there at noon. So I wait and wait until 2 when no has yet arrived. I call back and get the most apathetic black woman on the other line.
I'd bet my soul she was fat and had a bad weave. Some things carry through clear on the phone and this hellish image was one of them. She told me that my appointment was from 8-6 and that I would have to wait till 6. Who the fuck gives a 10 hour time frame?? Don't I have better things to do then stay glued to the doorbell for 10 fucking hours? I can't even go out and get a bite to eat, or go run errands. 10 hours! So around 5:45 i throw in the towel. I walk over to my old apt to pick a few remaining items from the move, during which I get a call from.... Guess who?!
.............................cablevision!
Good, give yourself a pat on the back. They tell me that a technician is on his way. It is not 6:30. He is a full 7 and half hours late, a fact I make sure to drive home to the lady on the other end of the phone. 10 minutes later 2 sweaty dudes great me and start looking for the cable outlets. THey immediately goto the cover on the wall, the same cover that Tony Yayo vehemently rejected as housing the precious cable. Out come the screwdrivers and out pops the cable. Fuck you Tony!!!
If you were here i'd battle rap you and then uppercut your jerry curl. Anyway 2 hours later i was happily online and slowlynursing my revenge .

l'chaim

2005-09-05T18:07:00.000-05:00

it's funny how once you get a taste of the good life, normal everyday things seem so bland. Last night was my college roomate's wedding at the Walddorf Astoria NYC. Black ties and prada dresses filled the cathedral sized halls of the reception area. Silicon implants swelled the plunging necklines of the women all hailing from beverly hills. Even the grandma's were off the hook. And believe me this is BEFORE i started drinking. Arriving there at around 6 pm we walked into the cocktail rooms where a classical quintet was playing in each of the 2 rooms. Imported caviar and a gray goose martini bar flanked by multiple giant ice sculptures comprised the center of the larger of the 2 rooms. Champagne with essence of peach and chambord were handed out fervently as I did a doubletake at the women dressed in traditional Japanese garb serving up fresh sushi and sashimi. The caliber of women here was the highest I'd have scene outside the glare of my computer screen. Every girl was a dime. I knew from the start I had no shot; even more so than usual. You see, I am not jewish , nor am I rich enough to allow these women to overlook that fact. I tried playing off the sephartic angle awhile back but I was caught red handed when I told a girl that I had never wailed, let alone at some wall in Jerusalem.
A few drinks later all the young men are led to a side room where a table filled with grey goose, chivas and kosher food sat in the middle. We were about to witness the groom sign the wedding contract. Seemed harmless enough until the old men and some of the groom's friends broke out in traditional jewish hymns. Shots were passed back in rapid succession and shouts of "l'chaim" reverberated off of the cathedral ceilings. An hour or so into the wedding and already we were well on our way to a marathon nite of spirit imbibing. Next was the actual ceremony. We walked into what for all intents and purposes was a complete outdoor garden brought into this huge room in the Waldorf. Trees with lillies lined the aisle and the huppah was decked out in flowers and lillies as well. Feeling thirsty, Larry decides to go get us drinks. What he comes back is something out of Leaving Las Vegas: tall pint glass filled to the brim with Goose. The reception went on for about 30 minutes, climaxing under the heel of the groom's feet when he smashed the glass and the crowd yelled "Mazeltauf!".
We filed into the banquet hall to the most amazing room I've ever seen. Huge ceilings, romantically lit balconies, concert lighting, and the same lilly trees that I saw earlier were the centerpieces at the tables. At each table sat a bottle of Goose, patron, 3 bottles of wine, pellegrino and some other "designer" water. Another ceremony commenced as the groom was lifted in a chair and hoisted amidst some boisterious jewish music. We circled and danced and even yours truly was immersed in the dancing, holdings hands with random men in a huge circle. The dancing in circles coupled with the endless vodka shots made for an interesting start of motion sickness as I disengaged and headed back to the table. a total of 5 bands played on the main stage that would have rivaled the one at PNC arts center. There was a black bland, a hispanic band, a russian band, and 2 other mixed ones complete with costume, dancing, and shirtless black men with bad dreadlocks. "Damn reggie i heard of dreadlocks, but shitlocks??" The food was soo good that the next morning I shit out a diamond. I think it was a princess cut. There was a chocolate fountain, which as it hypnotized me I fantasized about coating on of these Milfs in it and having dessert in the privacy of her suite. The dancing and drinking went on infinitely and it was the late hour of 3 am before the bride threw the bouquet. Everyone was in bad shape. My table was full of frat boys that insisted on pouring out shots every 2 minutes. I cut out with a friend back to boken at the ripe hour of 4 and dreamed of a better life, scheming to make the millions that would make this nite return when it was my time.

The boys of summer

2005-08-19T17:35:00.000-05:00

Lucidity is floating in and out right now due to the double shot of vicoden that's coursing through my pizza filled arteries. I was under the knife this morning getting 3 teeth extracted. The surgeon required that someone had to be present with me so that I could get home safely. Apparently Jignesh the cab driver wasn't enough...
So I had to call Lori to come with me since she is off for the summer. I made the mistake of going on a 4 bar bender last nite with the schmoilito. From Tom Collins to Jack and Jameson,it a dude fest on the bar front. Schmoilito offered some good advice. He said "Fob, tonite you have a girlfriend. Now go out there and talk to some girls." the first place I was afforded the privilege of engaging a young pretty thing in conversation was at the venerable "bahama Mama's". I rolled up on cute Indian shorty and slurred out some cheddar-laden line about drinks and buying and caste system. MY attempts were arrested with a polite no thank you after which I breathed a sigh of relief since I had a girlfriend at home. Do I? Shit! No! Damn you schmoiL! Feeling worse than ever I hit a few more places, not caring that I was supposed to fast for tomorrow's surgery after midnite. IT was now 1 pm and plans for brewing for a late nite Diner roundtable meeting. Sure enough at 2 pm I had my paws entrenched in the ranch dipping bowl, voraciously sampling the finest poppers in all of the land. Needless to say my 10:30 wake up time today was less than desirable. I got up and rang lori who sounded like pure hell- apparently she had been puking all nite and was still so drunk that I had to drive her car to the doctor's.
I had never experienced nitrous-oxide before. I was told it would feel like I had a few beers. Feeling nauseous from the night before my stomach churned - this coupled with the interrogation that the nurses delivered beforehand into whether I had stuck with my fast the nite before and how if I hadn't I could puke under the anesthesia,
which could go into my lungs and die... The nitrous was pure heaven. It was mellow and completely relaxing. I had the intense desire to chat up the lovely nurse to my left. But I had learned my lesson from the night before. Choose your battles wisely.
Soon the anesthesia took hold and I was experiencing at least a 200 high. You gotta know some good hookups to get this fucked up!

What seemed like 20 minutes later, I was told it was done and I could go. As I sit here awash in painkilling euphoria I'm thinking ahead to the movers at are coming at 7 am to move me to my new apt. Stay tuned for that whole mess :)

A mullet, A mark, A mission

2005-08-07T19:34:00.000-05:00

This weekend afforded me an unexpected evening in the country without the inconvenience of even having to leave NJ. A friend invited a few of us up to his parent's house in sussex county, or the Northern equivalent of the mason-dixie line. An hour drive or so saw us passing rolling hills, cows and even a Llama!
The NJ state fair was in full swing as we engaged the yokel throng perusing the various fatkins diet inspired treats, carnival rides, and carnie games. I grabbed a corn dog and instantly was enamored at observing the townies and the best NJ has to offer. A friend had the brilliant idea to have a photo scavenger hunt of various breeds of mullets. Luckily there was no shortage of the "business in the front,party in the back" hair "style" (thanks Chris). Also in abundance were jean shorts, oakleys, overalls, pickup trucks, cowboy hats, and dirty looks at your favorite fob. What there was a shortage of was teeth, lip wax, shirts, bathing, and a post high school education. We immersed ourselves in everything there was from good food, games, and beer to freak show attractions and off color commentary of the locals. One thing that can be said about the area was that pollution hasn't touched the area. Had it not have been cloudy, we could have easily have seen every constellation in the sky.

Afer the fair we headed to my friend's house for some serious drinking. Miller lite flowed, well, like water. The highlight of the nite was 6 of us belting out an ad hoc version of "Dead or alive" 3 times in a row. Even though it didn't feel like we were in nj, Bon Jovi certainly brought the reality of the fact that still were in the Garden State home.

the myspace unRevolution

2005-07-31T21:53:00.000-05:00

I was reading an article today on arguably the most self centered of news outlets, CNN.com. Could this site care anymore about US events and anyless about earth shattering world events? Terry "vegetable lasagna" Schiavo got more airplay than the Korean nuclear crisis. I'm sorry but I'm more worried about Mr. wong launching multiple ICBM's equipped with 100000000 yen of plutonium than some braindead bitch. Anyway, there was an article about how some myspace bloggers (aka fat Everquest nerds) were complaining about how Fox Corp's buyout of myspace will undermine the "counter-culture" grassroots social movement spawned by myspace.com. How exactly is a site that has some 22 million registered users be referred to as "counter-culture"? Since I happen to be one of these 22 million, I'll fill you in on how to succeed in a typical myspace ecosystem.

Girls:
Step 1: Take self portraits of yourself wearing the sluttiest underwear/bikini you can find. Make sure you show ample camel toe.
Step 2: Talk about how your favorite hobbies are shopping,partying and talking to boys. Also make sure to alternate caps on ur words like this : iM a dIrTy wh0rE
Step 3: Make ur background some super dark color and ur text black so no one in their right mind can read whatever inane shit you wrote about yourself.
Step 4: Sit back and watch your comment and friend list swell as hundreds of guido morons (see Garden State post) and greasy spanish dudes say things like "whattup ma" and "damn you look good yo" and my all time favorite "whats good ma?". I dont know you neanderthal, what is good? Isn't that fucking rhetorical question?

Guys:
Step 1: Take pics of you flexing your faux tan muscles in a wife beater. Also don't forget to look mean and take your shirt off as well. Show off your cookie cutter tribal tattoo u got in Seaside.
Step 2: Talk about how your favorite hobbies are working out,partying and talking to girls.
Step 3: Make ur background some super dark color and ur text black so no one in their right mind can read whatever inane shit you wrote about yourself.
Step 4: Add every chick you come across on myspace as a friend. Once they accept, which they will since myspace is the biggest faux popularity contest since high school, leave vacuous comments on the girl's page. See step 4 under Girls...

It is only inevitable that myspace will implode on itself if its members are any indication of its self proclaimed social importance. The only good thing I can see coming out of myspace today and tomorrow is the huge launch pad for indie musicians. With an online/digital distribution channel as magnanimous as myspace, the RIAA has some serious competition when it comes to exposure of up and coming artists. Any local band that I've seen recently, I've been able to look up on myspace and download or stream their music. If anything will survive from the myspace fallout it will be the online social networking of musicians and their fans.

spamalot

2005-07-19T19:46:00.000-05:00

im currently in phoenix (again) and its hot as donkey balls at high noon in the dead of july.

It's so hot that old people are dropping like flies. Why must old people be so defiant? They think everyone is wrong, young people have no respect, and that they can do everything by themselves. So then they go outside to catch the early bird special at the local yokel restaurant and 2 minutes later the adhesive holding their false teeth in starts melting like bubble yum left in your pocket in the washing machine. With temperatures averaging 107 over the last few days, it isn't pleasant to step outside of the comfort of the A/C. A local Chicago radio station called up a Phoenix resident yesterday and asked him how hot it was. They asked him to take a scoop of ice cream and drop it on the sidewalk and then time how long it would take to completely melt. It took 8 seconds. If you pulled that shit in chicago, it would be gone in 5 seconds. You'd look down and see some fat drunk bears fan licking that shit up. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa beaaars!

On another topic I love getting spam. I know it sounds weird but have you ever taken time to read spam? Spam is the new black. Shit is funny as hell. I think spammers are out of work comedians that are trying to hone their material through spam haikus. read this one:

To: Riley; Tracey@i.com; Kory; Collin; Antoine
Subject: Fw: be a superstar and wear our quality rolexes or brietlings.

wow. these copied versions have the same logo types and serial numbers.

but get him to talk, he has plenty to say. His reading has done him
1880 Milstead Ln, georgetown, Texas 78628-6811 512-721-0445 which is some
of the best land in the country. I grant you, FROM my father I received
the best inheritance, namely a "good temper." "And who was my father?" That
has nothing to do with the good temper; but I will say he was lively,
good-looking round, and fat; he was both in appearance and character a
complete contradiction to his profession. "And pray what was his profession
and his standing in respectable society?" Well, perhaps, if in the beginning
of a book these were written and printed, many, when they read it, would lay
the book down and say, "It seems to me a very miserable title, I don't like
things of this sort." And yet my father was not a skin-dresser nor an
executioner; on the contrary, his employment placed him at the head of the
grandest people of the town, and it was his place by right. He had to
precede the bishop, and even the princes of the blood; he always went
first,- he was a hearse driver!

He was a hearse driver! And a fat one at that. Awesome.

From Hackencrack to Hoe broken

2005-07-15T17:43:00.000-05:00

A farewell party for my company's CEO last nite turned out to be yet another alcohol and cheap beef fueled debacle. Most of the nite's merriment was facilitated by easy access to the open bar and quick turnaround time due to the small number of revilers that attended. After an entertaining video made by a coworker as a montage of our CEO's years at the company was aired, the revilers stormed the bar like it was the beaches of Normandy. Many a good man and woman went down, mired underfoot of their (up to that point) brethren.
For the calm before the storm had just commenced, as conversations were conducted with judicious reservedness and the dancing shoes had been stowed safely under the bar. Fast forward 45 minutes to my boss describing the sex toy he had bought for his wife and how much they enjoyed using it. The story was chokingly absorbed by the audience as one by one, they migrated to the bar to scrub the visuals out of their heads with the help of that dirty bastard, Jose Cuervo.

The dancing began in grand fashion as the dj ( who looked strikingly like Yakov Smirnoff) began pumping the batmitzvah playlist. I'll admit I'm not one to dance but my coworker kept feeding everyone shots and amazingly enough many of us found ourselves rapping the chorus to Ain't nuttin but a g thang. Even the Isrealis knew the words! At around 10 pm EVERYONE at the party was officially cut off from the bar. You get that? EVERYONE. I have never been to any event where the entire place was cutoff for drinking too much. amazing. The party quickly dissipated and eventually I was persuaded to drive a few of my more inebriated colleagues to Hoboken to extend the merriment. Mike had a tear in his eyes as he parted with his BMW, more out of fear that the Mafia clientele that he caught grilling him was plotting to pipe bomb his car. In Hoboken, the scene was grim. Many the unsavory character lined up at lana lounge for a East LA gang bang. We passed them and entered oddfellows to a room of portly white women and watered down drinks. 2 more hours of this and we all parted our separate ways. It was 1 am and mike had to be at work in 3 hours. He didn't look happy. Morning came and went. Noon came and found both mike and I still lying in our respective beds; him carless and missing a large part of his dignity. I made the effort and went to work only to find out im going back to Phoenix!! (see Days of Blunder)

Days of Blunder

2005-07-06T14:48:00.000-05:00

today started out at the brisk hour of 4 am. It was dark outside and my pecker was at full attention as I stumbled into the bathroom. I had roughly 1 hour to get to the office, load up the limo with a server, and then book to newark liberty international to catch a 7 am flight. Luckily the jackasses from the limo service were actually on time and not reeking of cheap proletariat russian vodka, and so at 5:15 we were en route to the office. An hour later I found myself at newark airport waiting on a giant line outside to check in my bag and the server. I get to the front of the line, where Lando Calrissian

weighs the server and proceeds to smugly tell me that I will need to go inside to the Special Services desk. I proceed there with the big ass box and have it weighed again, pay the 50 bucks, and then trek it to the x-ray machine. at this point its 6:30 and boarding has just started. I still need to get my brown ass through security and make it to the gate. After cutting the line and rockin the elite access lane, I got to the gate with 5 minutes to spare and got upgraded to first class! WOOOOOOOT! So at this point im sittin in the seat, huffing/puffing/wheezing/ and coughing while the guy next to me offers me 5 dollars to give to my family for the Tsunami relief effort.

5 hours later and im at the baggage claim counter yelling at some poor lady who is telling me that despite all the biblical proportional heavy lifting I did all morning, the server was on a later flight and not coming in until 4 pm. SHEEEEEEEEET. Out of options, and also a little out of breath, I got on the hertz bus and tried getting to my car where the lady at the counter fucked up and gave me a non-existent car, which when i complained, offered to give me a 2 car upgrade to a ..... Volvo Stationwagon.
If thats a DOUBLE upgrade, don't ever let me rent a standard car from these assholes. So now im officially pimpin a soccer mom ride, I hit the freeway and let the oddly and disturbingly sexy voice of the Hertz Neverlost GPS guide me to the hotel where I can hopefully slip into a double scotch and let this terrible day of days end.

Garden State or Garbage State

2005-06-28T20:57:00.000-05:00

Recently I have been reading the rants and raves section on craigslist. There are alot of posts highlighting the negative perception of my birthplace, New Jersey. New Jersey is the child molestor neighbor of the northeast. Everyone sees it as a nuisance, and doens't want to be near it, let alone inside it. Granted most of the generalizations are from people that never have seen new jersey and complain about the "smell" and industrial landscape. Perhaps the most accurate observation regarding new jersey pertains to its denizens. Guidos and mean girls. A marriage made in suburbian hell.
I'll start with guidos. Exhibit A is a website called njGuido.com Take a look around for a minute or 2, or before your gag reflex kicks in and you'll see exactly why NJ is a wasteland of these braindead idiots. Exhibit B:

Guidos work out all winter and eat meals comprised of boiled chicken and hardboiled eggs so that they can spend 3 months out of the year (start memorial day and ending labor day) flexing in the bathroom mirrors at such classy establishments such as Temptations, Bamboo Lounge, and Djais.
The Guidettes that hang out with these Neanderthals have nasty tans, wear whorish makeup and had daddy buy them fake titties as their graduation present from spending 4 hard years at county college. Aside from them, girls in nj are a hard nut to crack. Each girl born in Jersey is imbued with a distinct and primal defense mechanism, which is triggered when a male is within 20 feet of her. She will do her hardest to not look at the male, and in the likely event that she is approached, she will bare her teeth and shoot the evil eye. She will sometimes accept a free drink, on receipt of which she will bare her teeth and shoot the evil eye. Now you, as the casual blog reader, may be thinking, this guy is just bitter and probably hasn't been laid in a few years. Yes- this may be true, but I assure you my outlook on females here is shared by many, even those who be getting some at this very moment. I have traveled most of the US and I can tell those men who have never left NJ/NY- there is hope my friend. There are women out there that will smile at you when you smile at them. That will actually respond to your casual conversation starter, and that will thank you genuinely for that 12 dollar martini you just bought. I have to be fair to New Jersey women as well in saying that NJ men are relentless in hitting on women. I think we must outnumber them 100:1 or at least it seems that way on fri and sat nite. Its no wonder they have to be so defensive to fend off the wolf pack of drooling sex starved males. Even the fat chicks have an attitude- you know why? Because they get hit on non stop too!
In conclusion I'd like to say that I love New Jersey, but goddamnit what a life it would be if complete gentrification of this state could displace the guidos to connecticut and we could import some girls from Oklahoma and Iowa.

Colderplay

2005-06-25T11:54:00.000-05:00

I waited a few weeks before I wanted to write a review for this album. There are very albums that you can immediately like on the first few listens. A rush of blood to the head is one such album that took numerous spins before I started identifying with it. ARoBTtH was a "bigger" album than Parachutes in terms of scope and atmosphere. Parachutes was much more organic, as first albums tend to be. Take your pick of reasons: studio costs, time, lack of knowledge, bad producers etc. Clocks embodies the big stadium songwriting that Chris martin embraced on that album. Oddly enough the first single off of X&Y is Clock's cousin. Hi Speed of Sound- meet your first cousin Clocks.
Clocks: " You stole my bassline"
Speed of Sound : " You stole my pre chorus vocal intonation"

The NY times had a great one line scathing comment on Coldplay's new album describing how the band utilizes a coldplay algorithm to mass produce the songs on X&Y...

It's abundantly apparent on most of the songs that chris is reaching for a melody that never really materializes. The slow intro, with just the vocals is the cookie cutter template for most of the songs. If you happened to catch VH1 storytellers on coldplay, you would know that coldplay based the "theme" or sound of their album on "Fix you" which is by far the worst song on the album. They were proud that they sang a 4 part harmony on the track. Big fucking deal. A four part harmony would be great if the song was actually good! The album embraces a much more "new agish" sound (see John Tesh) that really is a departure from their earlier works which took a modern rock sound to the bleeding edge ( no pun intended as John Buckland borrows from the textural guitar style made famous by Robert Smith of the Cure and the Edge from U2)
I really wanted to like this album. I'm not a professional music critic that has to distance himself from emotions and bias when doing a review. Coldplay was and still is one of my favorite bands. I hope their next effort will be more of an organic endeavor and lose the Church organs and lackluster melodies.

C+

Pumpkin soup

2005-06-21T13:54:00.000-05:00

Billy Corgan just took out a full page ad in the Chicago Times today announcing that he will be reforming his seminal alternative band of the 90's alt rock scene , The Smashing Pumpkins.
As bad as the current music scene is, this is good news, even if billy doesn't decide to use all of the original line up. Apparently James Iha, the former Pumpkins guitarist is currently in Maynard's side project band, A Perfect Circle so getting him back may be a foregone conclusion. Here is what the full page said:

Today is a special day in my life as it marks the release of my very first solo album The Future Embrace. For over 17 years I have been proud to represent Chicago as an artist through my words and music, and am continually humbled by the undying love that I have been shown from this city as one of its native sons. I'd like to take this moment to address all that is going on in my musical life, from the new album and the current tour, to the future of The Smashing Pumpkins.

I had the opportunity to record The Future Embrace CD here in Chicago, and its embers bear witness to this town's unique soul. I have done my very best to create something fresh and exciting to listen to, and I hope you get the chance to check it out. Having just returned from a tour of Europe, I am now set to play 18 additional dates in North America, beginning tomorrow in Atlanta. After that we head to Japan, and then Australia and New Zealand for the first time since 1998.

The Future Embrace is an album of hope, and represents fully my desire to make music to stand and to fight for. Encouraged by the musical progress of the record, I have already begun writing new songs for a subsequent solo album I hope to start by the end of this year. Plans are still in the works to finish my 'ChicagoSongs' DVD, a group of songs about the city. I'm also in the process of writing my life story on-line, updated almost daily and not so ironically entitled 'The Confessions of Billy Corgan.' It truly has been a creative time for me, with many new revelations.

Many have assumed that the decisions that I have made over the last few years have been to try to get away from something. But what I have been really trying to do is find that same kid again, the one who believed he could change the world with a song. There is an old saying that goes "you can't go home again," but I believe that your home is wherever your heart lies.

When I played the final Smashing Pumpkins show on the night of December 2, 2000, I walked off the Metro stage believing that I was forever leaving a piece of my life behind. I naively tried to start a new band, but found that my heart wasn't in it. I moved away to pursue a love that I once had but got lost. So I moved back home to heal what was broken in me, and to my surprise I found what I was looking for. I found that my heart is in Chicago, and that my heart is in The Smashing Pumpkins.

For a year now I have walked around with a secret, a secret I chose to keep. But now I want you to be among the first to know that I have made plans to renew and revive The Smashing Pumpkins. I want my band back, and my songs, and my dreams. In this desire I feel I have come home again.

The Future Embrace represents a new beginning, not an ending. It picks up the thread of the as-yet-unfinished work and charter of The Smashing Pumpkins. I know this city gave me the gift of my music, and it is my honor to share this love that I have with you from the bottom of my heart. There is still so much work to do, and as always, so little time!

Billy Corgan

Now all we need is Rage against the machine, Guns N' Roses, and Lush to get back together....

You've got a friend in Pennsylvania

2005-06-12T19:45:00.000-05:00

Pennsyltucky!

it was a road trip weekend that started on saturday after a long hot morning of antique shopping with mike. we woke kevin up from his puke induced sleep via a call to his cell and had him come pick us up. Mike took the driver's wheel and we were off on the nj Turnpike headin down south past all the migrating guidos beelining it to seaside. Approx 2 hours later we arrive at hesham and courtney's new condo. All of our friends had already arrived and were dipping their proverbial balls in the mash potatoes. We ate, we drank, we laughed. Rinse, repeat. No shots were had, no bowling pins knocked down fueled by jaeger shots served up by portly native girls. I had a good time- any weekend where I can keep my exposure to bars at a minumum is a victory for me. I slept on cold hard floor occasionally roused from my lucid slumber by the RPG-esque sounding farts echoing from all corners of the living room from the various friends occupying it.
the morning after we picked up and started heading back to the garden state for some sweet italian home cookin' Good food and good times all around, after which we piled in again and made it back to 'boken for some much needed r&R.

fear and loathing in hoboken

2005-06-05T16:16:00.000-05:00

AGGGH!

sobriety is a fuckin mother. I had the most boring weekend in the history of mankind. I couldn't think of one activity to do in this town that didn't involve drinking. It makes sense since all there is in hoboken is apartements, bars, and schools. Its true. In fact the fun/alcohol codependency has gotten so bad that I rescheduled my date for tonite to this week because today is my last day on meds. On top of that I gotta get up at 4 am to catch some gay ass flight to chicago for work. What the fuck!
anyway its been awhile since i dropped some music picks so here it is:
the bravery
reggie and the full effect
the gipsy kings
Buena Vista Social Club
Nine inch nails: with teeth
coldplay: speed of sound

also i just found out today my old college roomate just got engaged.
Congrats tim! Can't wait for the wedding man! It'll really be like old school lol.

i'm no superman

2005-06-01T20:15:00.000-05:00

i've been laid up in edison for the past 5 days with a bad case of pnuemonia. On the couch with only basic cable to pass the long long hours in indian suburbia. I have only myself to blame, since this whole thing could have been avoided if I had gone to the doctor 2 weeks ago, but if ur reading this then you probably know me and why this course of action was never pursued. So over the last week I haven't heard from the girl i met on my bday ( see post: i am the [sic] walrusj) We talked briefly when i was in LA, but since i was at work i couldnt really talk. I told her i'd call her back which i did that nite but then didn't hear back from her till yesterday. I wasted no time with small talk and asked her out for dinner this weekend to which she accepted. ( YAY ) I guess its pretty bad timing seeing how i'm on meds till monday and can't drink this weekend. Which makes the whole wining and dining thing kinda hard, nevermind the fact that I won't be able to take the nervous edge off with a stiff drink or 3. This is on top of the disastrous meddling of my mother at the posh wedding I attended this past wedding in philly for a family friend. Apparently she called one of the family friend's daughters who happens to be around my age and ask her to pimp me out to any single indian girls at the wedding. When i found out i actually blushed, physically impossible as it may be. I'm proud and I guess im embarrassed at people thinking I need my mom's help. Another deep lasting scar from an embarassing moment caused by my parents. Surely not the last....

to live and die in LA

2005-05-26T22:46:00.000-05:00

what a difference a coast makes. LA is the only place in the US that makes you feel ugly. Seriously everyone here is gorgeous. Even the pets. It's not pure aesthetics either. It's more that people here take pride in their appearance. Most people are slim or average. Very few are obese and lugging around spare tires and pot bellies. Everyone wears nice clothes regardless of what the occasion is. I fucked up by packing 1 brown dress shoe and 1 black shoe, so dressing up for me was not an option, since dress pants don't really go with brown new balance sneakers. I had to call the client and ask them permission to come to work in jeans and sneakers to which they replied "of course! this is california- its different out here." Also you wont see seaside tony rockin' a jump suit at the local walmart here, or that old guy wearing a seersucker blazer he picked up from sears for 50 cents. It doensn't take that much effort to look presentable when you step outside of your house. Together we can make NJ beautiful! I guess when the weather is sunny all year round like in LA, you just wanna get outdoors and be active. It must also play an integral role in facilitating a positive psychi which in itself is rejuvenating. That and if you were constantly surrounded by hot women you'd want to get in shape so you can get some california love...

the politics of dancing

2005-05-21T16:39:00.000-05:00

major developments this week-
I got called into my VP's office this week for a "talk". Apparently an SE in our company is leaving, and a position has opened up. The CEO has given me the nod and his blessing for me to voluntarily step up and take the position. It would mean significantly more pressure, but the compensation is sweet as well. THe only thing holding me back is that I don't want to screw my team over, since we are short handed right now to begin with. I also think that both my manager and the VP are great and I love working for them. To burn bridges would be an adverse result of this decision. Many minds have offered advice but I have until monday to give my decision. stay tuned..........

I am the sic[drunk] walrus

2005-05-15T11:24:00.000-05:00

Last nite was perfect. I was comfortably drunk and surrounded by good friends. Mike really came through and lined up a full spread for the bbq. We started at around 5 by going down to the courtyard to set up. When we got there we found that our asshole super overbooked the courtyard! One guy down there who was having a party was cool enough to let us have a grill and some space, so it worked out. At first no one really showed up, but at around 7 or 8 it was gettin live. Then we hit up branch in nyc at around 11ish. This place was dope as hell. Big dance floor, tables etc - the only problem was that there were no stalls in the bathroom ;)
anyway luckily enuff there was an indian bachelorette party there that nite- and that was all i needed . I rolled up to the bachelorette and asked her if she had any single friends. SHe points behind her , so i turn around and introduce myself to her friend. And that was all she wrote.
Of course I was drunk and forgot her name. I tried getting my friends to find out her name, but it was like the blind leading the blind. When she was leaving at the end of the nite, I asked her for her number to which she responds, " do u remember my name?"
DOH!
no i dont i said.
She gave me the number anyway
YAAY!

It's good to be king

God is a DJ

2005-05-14T13:28:00.000-05:00

ok so its my bday today- im 25..... The last 4 years have been a blur. 4 years out of college. 4 years doing the daily grind. Routine really does make time fly by. I think i'm at a good point in terms of career and finances. As for everything else, well i could be thinner and the whole girl thing is getting very frustrating. So tonite I'm having friends over and then we're going to nyc to a club called branch. Should be good times. I think after this bday I'll be getting less and less excited about getting older. We'll see haha....

On the brink of endgame

2005-05-07T14:59:00.000-05:00

been really into music lately and trying to better myself as a musician. I took the plunge and signed up for intermed. guitar lessons near ft lee. I start next week- i need a hobby so i dont get into trouble (ie drinking) during the weekdays, and something to keep me more productive on the weekends. Im also planning a trip to europe in the fall, because ever since I got back from amsterdam this month, all I can think of is going back to Europe.

Music im into right now:
The bravery
Duran Duran - The astronaut
Breaking Benjamin- Saturate
Butch Walker

Look out for the new release of coldplay's new album, audioslave and nine inch nails.

Books I just read
Straight Man by Richard Russo
As She climbed across the table by JOnathan Lethem
Berlin - Anthony Beever

Neil Gaiman is coming out with a graphic novel: "From the incomparable imagination and lucid visions of Sandman creator Neil Gaiman and acclaimed artist and director Dave McKean -- and the innovative minds at The Jim Henson Company -- comes MirrorMask, a breathtaking journey through a strange and magical looking-glass world where anything can happen ... and frequently does. Here is the complete film book of the new high-water mark in family fantasy entertainment. The story of young Helena, daughter of the circus, comes vividly alive as we accompany her on her remarkable mission to a place far beyond wonder; a phantasmagorical quest to rescue."

cANT WAIT!

im also turning 25 next weekend- that in itself is an entire new post. Stay tuned!

absinthe